Tuesday, 1 January 2008

The 'Date That Was not a Date' II

New Years Eve always has had that feeling of expectancy, the feeling that a new dawn is upon us and a hope that the new year will be better than the last even if the last year was fantastic.

It was in this mood that I accepted the invitation to escort the 'date that was not a date' and have a lunchtime drink with her. Whereas the previous date was fun and laughter, this one was terse and unpleasant. There became a mood that underpinned an attitude that revealed the true direction that she wanted to go in any future relationship.

As equals? No at all.

As differing people that were symbiotic in the coupling? Hell, no!

Rather, I came to the conclusion that she needed to be in control and effectively manage all aspects of any relationship she was in. Now I am not adverse to people that exist in that kind of relationship but before her assumption, I would have thought that she would have needed to find out for herself where I stood.

She emailed me today with venom saying that she did not want to continue. Instead of a LTR that I was looking for, she stated that she wanted to go on plenty of dates and have fun. Fair enough, but there was no need to be so harsh about it. All that needed to be said was that 'the chemistry was not right' or similar. However, there was much (unnecessary and ungrounded) criticism of me and petty digs based upon the odd word or misheard phrase that I was supposed to have said on the 'date that was not a date II'. The emails even went so far as to offer personal advice on issues. All this after two meetings!

I replied, of course, and it became clear that she needed to state things in a way that gave to her psyche apparent control. Therefore she felt free to comment aggressively about me but did not like it when the reverse occurred. The culmination was when I pointed out how I felt about her gold digger status...

1. You did not pay for a drink at <>. Whilst you bought your rounds at <>, you made future intentions clear that once hooked, you wanted to continue on a basis that you were pampered.
2. You pushed for a restaurant that you wanted and never mentioned how it was to to be paid for. Clearly, you were trying to get me to pay for the 'date'. From what you said, it was clear that a 'date' means that the bloke pays.
3. You walked ahead of me for most of the time when we walked to and from the hotel and pub which indicates that you feel that you feel that you should lead a relationship.
4. Your eyes, when we were talking looked to my side which indicates that you were not quite telling the truth. Doing such a thing indicates that you are thinking about being on control and want to exploit the situation.
5. Your suggestion of a first date on the <> website indicates an extravagance that is beyond a first date. You actually do not want a date, more a vehicle to allow you do things you would not normally afford. It's not a simple meet for a coffee or beer but a trip out.....

I will not be contacting her again.

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